


How To Train Your TARDIS (or not)

by bravest_person_in_Wonderland



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Clara does not, Eleven thinks it's funny, Gen, Minisode: Clara and the TARDIS, also I can't resist referencing Big Finish stuff sorry not sorry, ftr I do ship Whouffle, it's not tagged but light Whouffle if you want it, no spoilers for any of that though, the TARDIS is testy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23407552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bravest_person_in_Wonderland/pseuds/bravest_person_in_Wonderland
Summary: the Doctor returns to the TARDIS and finds a sleep-deprived companion and a TARDIS having a little too much fun with her games (post- Clara and the TARDIS minisode)
Relationships: Eleventh Doctor & Clara Oswin Oswald
Kudos: 14





	How To Train Your TARDIS (or not)

“I’m back!” the Doctor called cheerfully. “Clara! Clara?” He stepped slowly around the TARDIS console, frowning at the quiet. “Clara, where’ve you gone?” The sound of gentle breathing drew his attention to the chair in the corner, where the form of a grey-sweatered girl was curled up in the cramped seat.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. Clara had her own room on the TARDIS, she knew that. He crouched beside the chair and hesitantly nudged her awake. She started at the sight of him, then sighed.

“Oh, thank God,” she breathed. She sat up, running her fingers through her mussed hair and groaning. “Your stupid box hates me.”

“Why do you say that?” He looked up and squinted. “What have you been up to?” He directed the suspicious question at the ceiling of the console room. “What’s she been up to, Clara?”

“Wouldn’t let me find my room,” Clara yawned as she rubbed her dark-circled eyes, “The entire time you were gone.”

“Oh, seriously?” He stood up and spun to face the console. “Well that’s not very nice, now is it?” He waited, looking expectantly around the room. “Nothing to say for yourself, then? Apologise to Clara,” He ordered. Again, silence. “I said, _apologise to Clara._ You bloody box!” Despite the frown on his face, he couldn’t help being a bit amused. “What kind of impression do you think that makes, when you pull a stunt like that?! You think she doesn’t respect you? Well, I wouldn’t either, if you treated me that way! Now: apologise.” He placed his hands on his hips and squinted at the console, hoping Clara couldn’t see the bit of laughter in his eyes.

A small _werp-woop_ sounded. Clara assumed that was the TARDIS’s apology. “Apology accepted,” she muttered, “Now may I _please,_ for the sake of all that is good and right in the world, go to my room?”

_Werrp._

“Maybe?” The Doctor said indignantly. “ _Maybe?!_ Do I need to rewire you, you mean old girl?” He dropped an arm around Clara’s shoulders. “Come along, Clara. I’ll take you to your room. Wouldn’t want you to somehow end up in the cellar.” Was there even a cellar?

After leaving Clara to sleep, he stood at the TARDIS console and scowled. “You really aren’t very nice to her,” he told the ship. “There’s really no reason for it, and you know that as well as I do.” He couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. The Old Girl could certainly be testy when it came to certain of his companions she didn’t like. Once she’d trapped Romana in the wardrobe room – how come his previous self had never thought of that, himself? -- , and he couldn’t forget poor Charley, either.

_Brroop._

“What can I do to you? Excuse me, madam, but how long have we been together? I know your cables and signals nearly as well as you do! I don’t care one bit for your insolence of late, not at all. You had better think about what you’ve done for a while,” He crossed his arms at this last bit. The TARDIS made a sound that he was certain was a laugh. “I am not making empty threats,” he retorted, even though he was. “If you aren’t nice to Clara I may have to leave you with Kate again for a while. Remember that, when you backtalked Rory? You didn’t enjoy that visit one bit.”

A small blip this time, a real apology.

“You’re only repentant now because you don’t want to get in trouble. There are consequences to our actions, even if you are a sentient hunk of machinery. Just don’t do it again, do you hear me?” He knew his ship knew that he wasn’t properly mad, just exasperated. She probably _would_ pull something else with Clara, at some point. Ah, well, all’s well that ends well, he figured. The Old Girl wasn’t _malicious,_ not really, just a bit tetchy sometimes. It was really rather a game to her.

_Whirrr._

He sighed and smiled. “Yes, I forgive you. But I’m not so sure Clara will.”

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone understood the extremely veiled callback to *certain plot points* in *a certain Big Finish audio* please let me know in the comments! XD 
> 
> This was my first Doctor Who fanfiction, I just pulled it out and added a few things to make it more, ah, enjoyable. Also the Big Finish reference bc I'm hopeless.


End file.
